Living Single and Loneliness
Lack of Partnership
Have you said this?
“I’m going to be single forever!”
“Am I ever going to find the right partner?”
“Does he/she/they even exist? Where are they already?!”
“Successful relationships are for other people, not me.”
“Maybe this is just my lot in life, to be alone.”
“I’m SO tired of dating!”
“What’s wrong with me?!”
It’s not you…
First, I need to make one thing abundantly clear- being single or un-partnered is NOT a problem to be solved. There is nothing wrong with you because you are single. We need to acknowledge the pressure that society puts particularly on single women to find partnership by a certain age. If we are not partnered by age “X” we internalize this messaging and convince ourselves that something must be wrong with us. I am here to tell you: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about some truths- it is largely out of your control whether you meet the person you want to spend your life with at age 25 or 75. This is not a reflection of your worth or whether you’re doing the “right" things to meet potential partners or not. Sure, you could settle for less than what you deserve- a mediocre relationship- just to be partnered, but that may mean you’re attempting to fix the “problem” of being single instead of focusing on living your unique, fabulous, exciting, meaningful life as an un-partnered person.
If you are staying in a relationship, or searching for one, to feel better about yourself, fix your “problem” single status, relieve yourself of feeling intense loneliness, or attempting to fill the void you may be feeling in your life- then we need to connect!
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
Loneliness
Loneliness is a lack of meaningful connection. It’s not about quantity of relationships, but quality of relationships- having a deep, reciprocal bond. Oftentimes it can also be a result of disconnection from your Self. Creating meaningful relationships can be difficult for many people for various reasons.
Are you the one always taking care of others in your life?
Are you able to be emotionally vulnerable with others– to share experiences and ask for help from those you’re close with?
Are the people that you have relationships with available- physically and emotionally?
Are you wondering “where do I find my people”?
Sometimes we need help meeting new people- not knowing where to go or what to do. Maybe some social anxiety or uncertainty is holding us back. Other times we need help getting unstuck from old behaviors or perspectives that aren’t supporting our values and goals of connection, to recognize the close, meaningful relationships that are right in front of us. Yet other times, and often most painfully, we may have unknowingly abandoned our Selves and need help reconnecting with our Self.
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, please take the first step and reach out to connect with me!
How I Can Help
Learn how to manage difficult thoughts and feelings including: negative self-talk, that “not good enough” story, fear, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness.
Shift our thinking from focusing on meeting “the One” to focusing on the Ones that are here and present in our lives.
Learn how to connect with your inner world and what it’s telling you to better understand yourself and express your needs.
Strengthen your communication skills.
Separate society’s expectations and demands from what you genuinely want for yourself
Examine your expectations of a partner.
Grow awareness as to how your past experiences may be influencing who you’re picking in partnership and/or friendships and how you’re showing up.
Increase your self-esteem- You are good enough, your life is good enough regardless of your partner status.
Learn about your patterns around intimacy.
Focus on YOUR current life- yes, the one you’re living right now! There’s actually a lot of good stuff there. If there isn’t, we can change that.
Find meaning in your situation so you can learn and grow from it.
Practice self-compassion and empathy. You need to be on your own team!
“Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.”
— Gloria Steinem
Reconnect To Yourself And Your Life
If you’re ready to get started click the button below and fill out the online form. For more information about what therapy will look like click here.